Everchanging
by Charitable Millionaire
Summary: Remus/Tonks/Sirius. She was always changing. She could never make up her mind or heart. Tonks is a mess and so is Sirius. Like Black siblings; orphaned; lost; they took shelter in each other's arms;in this giant house...Things have always been topsy turvy in Grimmauld Place. Flashbacks to Bellatrix.
1. Remus Sirius Tonks

**.**

 **Everchanging**

 _ **~life is constant flux~**_

 _ **.**_

 **6 days ago**

Tonks bubblegum pink hair matted to her face with tears. She could not believe her ears. She didn't want to believe that Remus was doing this again. After months of waiting for him to come around, they'd finally got to the point of dating and now he started to pull back away again. Just as they were in her bedroom and she'd managed to take his shirt off, he decided to break it off.

"I'm too old, too poor and too dangerous for you Tonks, you need to find someone your own age..." he kept saying.

What part of 'I love you' didn't the bastard understand? As if she had any choice to feel this way about him.

Already he was putting his shirt back on, refusing to look at her or the bed where she'd been hoping he'd stay the night.

"No you're not going to do this to me again..." she pulled at her hair, "You're staying! You're fucking staying!"

She tried to grab the shirt of his hands to keep him from leaving. When that didn't work, she tried to wrap her arms around his neck, to make him look at her, to grab her, touch her. But he was having none of that.

He batted her away like an overattentive puppy he wanted to have nothing to do with. He refused to touch her.

"No Tonks. I can't stay. Merlin do you know what would happen to you if I lost control just once?" Remus said sharply as he disentangled himself from her hands.

"I don't care! You're bloody fucking condition is just an excuse!"

Remus was staring at her as if she were crazy, his amber eyes wide with confusion. "Don't speak about things you don't understand Tonks. You have no idea what it's like being a werewolf," he shouted with new anger.

"Just let me! How can I understand if you don't let me in?!" she shrieked and followed him out to the hall. He tried to open the door to let himself out but she grabbed at his arm.

Remus finally lost his temper. "I shouldn't let it get this far! This was all a mistake Tonks, can't you see that?" he shouted and grabbed his arm back. "This is all a mistake."

"Don't," Don't you know how much I need you?, "D-don't you," she choked on her words unable to get them out.

Tonks tried to steady her breathing and not break into a choking whimper though nothing hurt her more than what Remus was doing to her right now. His cold detachment was like a splinter to her heart. Growing up she'd been called a freak and every other name for being a metamorphmagus. But nothing hurt more than finally telling Remus she loved him only to have him reject her and leave.

She tried to reach out to but he moved away again.

"Don't..." she pleaded through her tears.

 _If you go it will break me._

"I'm sorry. I have to," Remus said quietly as he rushed out of her apartment, not turning back.

 _No. No. No. No. No._ She felt her insides tearing up.

Later she threw up and lay down on her bathroom floor.

Then she threw up again. It felt like pure grief was pouring hot and heavy out of her body. Heaving with the same rejection that Remus had thrown at her.

 **3 days ago**

"Tonks why aren't you eating?"

It was Sirius who noticed that she wasn't right in the days after. While Remus kept his distance, probably in the belief that a cleaner cut healed faster, she saw Sirius everyday as she headed in and out of Grimmauld Place for the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore always kept the auror busy and work was the only thing that kept her from crumbling apart completely.

"Tonks did you hear me?"

She said nothing again.

"Nymphadora?" Sirius finally said.

This time she looked up at him.

He was smirking.

God why had she never realized how handsome he was until now?

 **99 days ago**

It was the first time she stepped into Grimmauld Place, shortly after joining the Order of the Phoenix. McGonagall was in a quick hurry to show her around. The headquarters of the Order was a surprisingly derelict and dusty old manor, not at all what she'd been expecting when she joined the secret organization.

As they came back downstairs, passing by the shrunken house-elf heads on the wall, a man stood there.

McGonagall cleared her throat, "Nymphadora Tonks I would like to meet-"

"Sirius Black," Tonks said instantly before McGonagall could finish.

Tonks looked hesitantly at the man whose face she knew well from wanted posters and newspaper stories that told of his grisly crimes. Suddenly she smiled. "You know it was funny growing up knowing I was related to you. Most people would've been ashamed to be have a mass-murderer in the family, but I thought it was kind of cool. The other kids knew not to mess with me when I mentioned you."

Sirius seemed taken aback but returned her smile. "Good to know being related to me was helpful for one thing," he extended his hand to shake hers, "I'm sorry we couldn't meet til now. What did you tell the kids about me?"

"That you were my mass murdering uncle," Tonks said coyly.

"Umm Nymphadora you know he's innocent.." McGonagall corrected her.

"I know," Tonks shrugged, thinking _me and my big mouth_ , "I'm sorry, I was a stupid kid."

"No, it's fine," he smiled, "Though I don't believe I'm actually your uncle. Your mother Andromeda is my cousin."

"Which makes you second cousins," McGonagall said.

"Right," Tonks said, trying to find a family resemblance but finding none.

Sirius' grey eyes stared intently into her own as he felt himself scrutinized.

Suddenly another man stepped up behind Sirius. Whereas Sirius had long and dark hair, this man had short light brown almost blonde hair. He seemed about Sirius' age and carried himself with an almost formal reserve.

McGonagall smiled pleasantly at this man, as if the sight of him pleased her much more than did Sirius. "Oh Remus there you are. I want to meet our newest member, she's an auror at the ministry. She came on Kingsley's recommendation. Nymphadora Tonks."

Tonks internally gritted at being called repeatedly by her first name but decided not to press the issue to people she just met. Once she got to know them a bit, she'd bring up her name preference.

"Pleased to meet you." The man called Remus extended his hand to shake hers.

Tonks looked up at the tall man and met his eyes for the first time.

She felt something like a kick inside her.

"Tonks," she said automatically, "I prefer to be called Tonks." And then mentally pinched herself for making those the first words she said to Remus Lupin.

 **98 days ago**

"Sorry why do you keep calling each other "Mooney" and pad-something, is that supposed to be code for something?" Tonks asked nervously, twirling a strand of her now violet hair around her finger. She had only been part of the Order for a few days and wondered if she was missing out on something.

"Mooney and padsomething?" Sirius barked with laughter.

Remus also grinned as if it were an inside joke. "It's Mooney and Padfoot," he said to her, "I'm sorry, we should've explained. They were our nicknames when he were at Hogwarts."

Tonks raised her brows, "You went to school together?"

"We were mates."

"Best mates."

"Really?" Tonks raised her eyebrows again.

"Mooney and I go back a long way," Sirius said languidly and crossed his fingers, "We used to be legends at Hogwarts for our pranks, marauders. Though you wouldn't believe it to see him now." He nodded his head suggestively in Remus' direction and Remus rolled his eyes.

 **87 days ago**

Tonks kept nervously fiddling with her hair and tapping her wand, like a drum stick against her palm, as she patrolled the grounds of Hogwarts with Remus. It was a starry night and they had seen no suspicious activities except for a few seventh years who snuck out of the castle to make out by the willow tree.

Tonks grinned cheekily as she pointed out the couple to Remus, "What d'you think, Remus, should we prank them?"

Remus looked in embarrassment at the teenage couple who had gone past second base and were close to shagging on the willow tree.

Remus sighed tiredly and scratched at his neck. "I don't think so Tonks. We're here to protect Harry Potter and make sure no death eaters come about these parts. Not bug seventh years."

Her smile faded hearing him speak so severely. He sounded almost disappointed in her, like he was a professor and she was a misbehaving student. Maybe Sirius was right about him. But she tried again. To get him to smile.

"Oh c'mon Remus! Look at them, they're practically shagging on the Hogwarts grounds, they must be breaking at least ten different rules!"

Remus smiled sheepishly. "Yes, well it's really no business of ours. If they get out of line... their professors can reprimand them for it."

"Well, I was hoping we could reprimand them...for a laugh."

She morphed into Professor Snape and mimicked his voice saying, "No sex on Hogwarts grounds!"

Remus finally burst out laughing, and her shoulders began to shake as she laughed with him. The sound of her own throaty husky laughter mixed with Remus' laughter under the quiet starry night.

 **86 days ago**

"Does Remus seem a bit off to you?" she asked Molly one day.

He seemed so tired, and worn, when she'd seen him today.

Molly gave her a sad smile. "Don't you know?"

Tonks felt a painful lurch in her stomach. "Know what?"

Molly's lips pressed together into a tight line, emphasizing the fine network of wrinkles around them. "Remus is a werewolf." The older woman shook her head, "Has been most of his life, bitten when he was about eight."

"Oh god."

Tonks covered her mouth.

 **85 days ago**

She confronted him on it. He was as evasive as always.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. Maybe because it's not the first thing I like to say when I meet people, 'Hi I'm Remus, I'm a werewolf, you need to be careful around me or I might maim you.'"

"I wouldn't have judged you like that! Did you really think that I'd judge you?"

"I don't know Tonks, I'm sorry." he pressed his hands to his temple, "Merlin I'd actually assumed you already knew with the way people talk."

"What people?" she snapped, "Everyone in the Order cares about you! Do you really think they're going to be talking behind your back?"

"I don't know," he repeated.

Why did he keep saying that?

She stared at his amber eyes wanting to understand. She wanted to understand so badly.

Oh fuck.

 **92 days ago**

They were strolling through Diagon Alley, on a clear busy day.

"So what are your future plans, Auror Tonks?"

For some reason she felt nervous talking to him. She'd only just met Remus Lupin a few days ago and this was the first time they were alone together.

She bit her lip and squinted up at the sky. "I don't know," she said caustically, her voice coming out a bit deeper than she intended, "I reckon I'd like to kick Voldemort's arse!"

Remus smiled politely, "I think we'd all like that Tonks. But what of your personal dreams and plans?"

He sounded so old-fashioned when he said that. She eyed his tweed jacket mischievously. Everything about Remus J. Lupin was so formal and correct. She wished she could mess him up a bit.

She smirked to herself. "I never plan things, Remus. Never."

It was a lie. She had plenty of plans and elaborate dreams but she felt like exaggerating her bohemian personality for him.

Somehow she knew the more bohemian and carefree she came across, the more Remus Lupin would like her.

And she was right.

He looked away for her for a moment, but there was an unmistakably happy look on his face.

They were opposites. They both loved that.

Her with her pink hair and combat boots. Him with his tweed jacket and almost professor-like formality.

She loved the appreciative glances he gave her whenever she acted crazier and more careless.

It spurred her on.

She began to crave it.

 **56 days ago**

"Nymph. My crazy fucking Nymph," he groaned as she cornered him against a desk and kissed him while straddling him.

She always had to take the initiative with him. Remus would never have made a move on her if she didn't. But he was so responsive when he didn't hold back. No matter what he said she knew he must be craving her as much as she craved him.

His crazy nymph.

That was exactly what she wanted to be. She wanted nothing more in the world lately. Than to be Remus Lupin's crazy young woman. The woman who raked her nails down his back and got under his skin.

Remus could be so frustrating sometimes. At other times he was completely adorable and she could imagine the young maurauder he had once been.

If only he would let her take it further.

 **72 days ago**

It had become her running joke to turn into Severus Snape whenever possible. Sometimes when Snape was still in the room. She did it whenever she wanted to make Remus laugh. Lately she noticed he looked more troubled, so she wanted to make him laugh more than ever.

"Please don't transform into Snape again," Remus murmured as Snape stomped moodily off and she unmorphed her face.

"Why?" Her dark eyes were wide with hope as she looked up at him.

He pinched her nose, which had returned to its normal size.

"It's a bit disturbing."

She stuck out her tongue at him. Making sure her tongue was a shocking blue.

"You'll go too far one day," Remus said.

"I want to take it too far." She winked at him.

His eyes darkened and he outstretched a hand to push back a piece of her bubblegum pink hair from her eyes.

"No I mean it, Tonks, you'll take it too far one day."

 **3 days ago**

"Tonks why aren't you eating?"

"Tonks did you hear me?"

She said nothing again.

"Nymphadora?" Sirius finally said.

This time she looked up at him.

He was smirking.

God why had she never realized how handsome he was until now?

 **1 day ago**

She told everything to Sirius while they sat by the fireplace in the parlour. Everything but Remus. She omitted that detail. The detail that said she was in love with his best friend.

Luckily Sirius didn't press for details and one way or another, he ended up believing that the man she was mourning after was a young man at the ministry, one of the aurors. It made sense that she, an auror, would fall for a fellow auror. She wondered how Sirius would really feel if he knew that it was Remus she was crying over.

Hmm. Sirius didn't really seem to care about anything except her own well-being.

"Whoever he is, he's a fool," Sirius said gruffly, taking her own hand in his own.

For some reason she felt a chill feeling his larger rougher hands against her own smaller hands.

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

It was such a personal question but she couldn't help but ask. Crying out her own story had made her lose hesitation. She felt connected to Sirius.

"Didn't you get lonely all that time in Azkaban?"

She wondered how he could take the dementors for a decade if just a week of heartbreak was killing her.

Sirius inhaled deeply, as if there were no real way to describe what he went through. He said lightly, "I'm not sure I can say Tonks, I spent most of that time as a dog...I suppose the only ones that would understand me are the dogs locked up in muggle shelters. They also wait to die for a crime they never committed."

The image was so sad and haunting that she couldn't bear it anymore.

"Sirius-"

She felt lost as she stared at Sirius' tragic eyes. They were a mirror of her own. A mirror of her own pain and confusion.

They were so alike.

"Sirius," she stretched out her hand for the first time to touch her relative's face. Sirius' skin was unexpectedly smooth for a man. Getting carried away, she trailed her thumb to trace to his lips. "Sirius..." her voice trailed off as she felt the skin around his chin.

Sirius grabbed her hand off his face.

"What are you doing Tonks?"

But she felt there was no going back.

She leaned over to give him a kiss. First chastely on the cheek, then on his lips. Tasting him. Tasting someone of her own blood.

She was surprised when she felt a chill run through her whole body.

He must have felt it too.

She stumbled backwards, knocking over a lamp, as Sirius pressed her against the wall and pinned her arms above her head.

His mother's portrait began to scream in the background. It didn't help that they were second cousins once removed. But she never felt truer words were spoken as Walburga Black's portrait screeched that she was a disgrace.

She knew she was a disgrace.

She was supposed to be in love with Remus.

 **22 hours ago**

"Sirius when is the last time you were with a woman?"

He silenced her with a kiss that told her he knew exactly what he was doing. Before pulling her down with him onto the couch.

Though he had said he had been a dog so long that he forgot what it meant, Sirius was all man as he responded to her. More man than Remus had ever been. Despite her own clumsiness, he maneuvered them gracefully on the narrow couch so that she was straddling him. There was nothing inexperienced or rusty about Sirius.

His hands were attentive and expert.

A shiver of shook through her core as she felt his hand slide under her skirt and trace playfully along the lacy fabric underneath. Teasing her.

She grabbed him forcefully by the neck to bring his lips to hers again and tangled her fingers in his long wavy hair. He made a gruff sound as she ran her tongue along his lips before darting it into his mouth. She loved the taste of him and had to stop herself from shaking too much as she felt him against her.

She inhaled sharply as Sirius' hands roamed roughly but expertly underneath her clothes and brushed teasingly over her sensitive spots.

His long wavy hair hovered over her face as he pressed himself between her legs.

Every part of her had surrendered and responded to his touch.

But suddenly there were tears in her eyes.

 **21 hours and 50 minutes ago**

Sirius sat back up on the sofa, trying to cover his lap, and the effect of the last ten minutes on him, with his hands.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," she bit her lip and wiped furiously at her tears, so upset at herself for getting emotional, "Yes, I know what I want. I just want to forget about him."

"Maybe this isn't the right way to go about that," Sirius said quietly, a trace of irritability in his voice.

"Don't tell me what to do," she snapped, "I know what I want."

Truthfully she was so afraid of Sirius acting the same way as Remus and deciding she was too young and inappropiate him.

Sirius was a gentlemen but she didn't think she could take it if Sirius too tried to back out of it. Her self-esteem would plummet.

She quickly undressed herself and let the effect of her naked body have its effects on Sirius. She felt some of her power return as his grey eyes drank in her body with raw hunger.

"I don't want you to be a gentleman with me, Sirius. I just want you to fuck me."

If it were Remus, he would've ran out with his tail between his legs.

But Sirius had none of Remus' self reservation.

He complied to her request.

Greedily.

It was exactly what she needed.

 **21 hours and 32 minutes ago**

But there were still tears in her eyes for Remus as Sirius entered her.

Sirius. Sirius Black. Not Remus.

Never Remus.

She didn't know whether it hurt or healed her with each painful stroke that it was Sirius, not Remus, inside her.

Remus had never gone so far with her. He had refused.

Why should she even care? Why did she still have to think of him?

Though she should have had no room for emptiness as Sirius filled her to the breaking point and forced her to scream out his name. His name.

Sirius. Sirius. Sirius.

Not Remus.

As if reading her mind, Sirius demanded growled something in her ear.

Sirius made few demands but he absolutely refused to release her until she came to his name. Sirius.

Not Remus.

"Sirius. Sirius," she gasped as he stroked her mercilessly, feeling herself come apart at the seams as his hand gripped even tighter on her hips, "S-sirius!"

Not Remus.

Her whole body shook as she came and she felt Sirius' seed burst into her.

Not Remus.

Oh merlin what had she done?

.

.

.

A/N: to be continued...the aftermath that is if anyone is still interested! thanks


	2. Tonks Sirius

a/n: this is the 'everchanging story' so this chapter was completely rewritten again. I don't think I'll be changing it now though because I love to see the chemistry and angst between Sirius and Tonks. Please review if you like it or have anything anything at all to say ;)

.

 _ **21 hours and** **Two minutes ago**_

His hands dragged through her hair, fisting it in clumps of everchanging locks of dark red, orange, pink, purple.

They turned darker in his hands as she came closer. Closer to his own.

As if inserting himself in her forced her to change.

So that as she came she looked like a Black. Silver eyes, black hair, aquiline features.

Like the blood they both carried inside them.

And some self-hatred in him forced himself to pound into her harder the more she looked like him.

Or maybe it was her own self hatred.

~/~

She dragged her nails across his back.

~/~

Her head tossed back.

and screamed as she felt his anger pounding into her.

Harder. and harder.

she knew it was because she had changed her hair black, her eyes grey, her features into a mirror of his own.

She never felt more like a Black.

Bloodlines had never mattered to her before. But in this bizarre almost archaic moment she never felt more connected.

She could feel the Black family bloodlines pounding into her.

Centuries of it.

Inch by excruciating inch.

In some kind of twisted ritual of their own making.

Two burnt spots of the Black family united. in their own ashes.

~/~

"Don't hold back."

"Take it out on me." she begged.

"Take it out on me."

She was begging him.

~/~

Sirius grunted as he felt all his switches flipped on.

His hatred for his family. His self hatred. His dark lust. His lack of self control.

Everything seemed to be staring back at him in those grey eyes.

He almost forgot it was Tonks.

He thought it was someone else.

~/~

Her voice broke the silence like a coarse and broken anthem over the shimmering sweat of their bodies.

Her body quivered under him and he knew she had let go.

It was almost too much.

Out of pure insanity he continued for a few more strokes until finally he could not take it anymore.

When he let go it was in an explosion of black clouds and thunder.

~/~

She licked her lips and licked the trails of sweat and salt down his back.

He shivered under her. As if unused to being touched for so long.

She trailed her fingers delicately over the hairs on his arms standing on end.

Then bit into him.

She would always remember the sound he made.

~/~

In retaliation he flipped her onto her back and took her again.

Chaffing. This time rougher. She choked on sobs of her own pleasure.

and it was at this point that she realized it had no longer become about forgetting Remus.

It had become so so much more.

~/~

He felt like was holding a piece of dynamite in his hands.

Always changing. Always changing colours. Never once predictable.

~/~

"What have we done?"

Tonks didn't answer him.

She trailed kisses up and down his chest, enjoying the musk

of his skin. She felt almost a maternal protectiveness for him.

It was not love.

It was more familiar.

Like siblings. Abandoned. Lost. They took shelter in each other's arms. In this giant house.

.

.

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R&R and I really like sirius/tonks and sirius/bella together because of the family angst, so I'd love to read your story or a recommendation of these pairings. thanks!


	3. Sirius Remus

**7 days and 21 hours later**

"You seem happier."

"Do I?"

"C'mon Sirius, you know you do," Remus sighed tiredly. While he felt the opposite, and not just because of the full moon.

"I suppose I might have something to smile about," Sirius said and the corners of his lips twitched upwards.

That was _obvious_. Sirius had been in a foul mood ever since he came back to live at Grimmauld Place, but lately he was almost cheerful. Like he had been as a young man.

"You're getting laid aren't you?" Remus asked and suddenly there was a heavy feeling in his stomach.

"Who is it Molly, Minerva, Emmeline Vance, Amelia or," he hesitated the most with the last name, " _Tonks_?"

Sirius frowned. "Do you really think I would sleep with Minnie?" his barking laughter filled the air, "or Molly? God forbid!"

Remus jaw clenched, he was finding this less amusing. "Sirius I know for a fact you haven't been getting out, so unless you've been going with men now, it's either Molly, Minerva, Emmeline, Amelia, or _Tonks_." His voice was stern as he repeated the names. "Those are the only women you've seen." It was a demand not a question.

Sirius' smile faltered, his grey eyes suddenly stormy. "Is something wrong Mooney?"

He used his nickname but there was nothing affectionate in his tone of voice at this moment. They both knew something was troubling the other.

Remus looked away. "No."

They both knew he was lying.

Sirius' grey eyes examined him sternly for a moment before he spoke.

"Good, because I've actually been going with all of them. Particularly Molly, she needs the most work!" he laughed grimly.

Remus rolled his eyes.

He knew Sirius was just trying to make him laugh but his evasiveness was worrying him more. He had a feeling he knew who it was. And he was so afraid of hearing the truth. But he had to know.

"Who is it Padfoot?"

Sirius' knuckles rapped against the table for the longest time, contemplating his answer.

"Does it bother you?"

"No," Remus said, "I just think I should know if one of our Order members suddenly falls pregnant."

Sirius shifted in his seat and his hands clamped around his forehead.

"You don't have a thing for Nymphadora do you?"

Remus' stomach lurched. But he used all his strength and self-mastery to compose his face into a carefully emotionless mask. "No."

Sirius stared downwards at the table. "It's her."

Remus felt as if a stone had been dropped on top of his head.

For a moment, in the first time in his life, he wanted to attack Sirius. He actually wanted to attack Sirius. Some animal baser part of him wanted to attack his old friend and make him bleed. He choked a little on his anger. But if he hadn't already decades of experience controlling the wolf, he could not do what he was about to do right now.

Remus got up from his chair and placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"I'm happy for you," he said with as much sincerity as he could possibly get into his hazel eyes. He knew Sirius had suffered much more than him. Twelve years in Azkaban that he could never apologize to him for. But it still took all his self control to not want to rip his friend's throat out.

"I've got to go," he muttered, "It's getting close to the full moon."

Sirius put his hand on top of his. "I'm sorry Mooney," his grey eyes met his mournfully, no trace of happiness left, "I didn't plan it."

"No of course not," Remus said through the tears shining in his eyes. He left quickly.

If he lied to himself, he could just pretend that Sirius hadn't seen through him to the truth.

Or maybe he hadn't.

He was _that_ good at self-control.

No one knew self-control like a werewolf.

Perhaps Sirius hadn't seen through him after all.

 **7 days and 23 hours later**

The wolf howled an ear-piercing screech.

It was more wild and untamed than ever, despite the regular dosage of Wolfbane's. The wolf scratched at the doors and walls, leaving huge scratch marks and welts in the wood, as it ripped apart the room and howled in agony again.

On the other side of the door, a dog whimpered.

He could hear his friend suffering on the other side, but he'd not been allowed in.

Remus had forbid it.

He knew his wolf would've tried to rip the friendly black dog to shreds.

.

Remus woke up naked, his clothes torn to shreds, in the destroyed room.

He broke into tears when he saw what he had done to the room.

.

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 **A/N: What will happen next? Please review and leave your thoughts if you read this far. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/faved/followed, it is much appreciated :-)**


	4. Sirius Bella

A Dream of Someone Long Past

a/n-this doesn't really pick up where the last chapter picked up, but since this is a dark story of slightly deranged characters, I thought that maybe before Tonks, Sirius might've had a memory of him and Bella together. Anyways this is him remembering a moment with Bella. Then it will continue again with Tonks/Remus/Sirius

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed that was so sweet of you and thanks so much to Guest too :-)

* * *

 _Bella. Bella. Bella._

She's insane.

He loves her.

She'll bite and tear him to pieces, it doesn't matter, he loves it.

He wants to be torn apart by someone as broken as him.

"Bella how long has it been?"

She cackles a laugh and her bony hands twist down to play with his belt buckle. Begins to unzip it. Then she stops and pouts and laughs as she looks up at him.

He takes a sharp intake of breathe.

Because she has that look.

That teasing cruel glint in her coal-black eyes, the type of mania that you can't decide whether it will destroy you or heal you. Whether she will take you too far or just to the edge.

Bellatrix is the type of hedonistic lover that would laugh as much to push you off a cliff as she would to see you happy. She doesn't really care what happens to you, as long as it's exciting for her.

She drags her pointed nails along his exposed crouch.

Her voice a sharp edge and Merlin it arouses him, he has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying something obscene and grabbing her by the hair. He can't hold on much longer. Though he breathe is cool on him.

"Siri," her voice is dripping with sarcasm, or is it delight? He can't tell, though she has that mock-babyish tone of speaking. Like they're children again and she pouts as she looks up at him, as if angry at him for not playing along with her game. Though what the fuck kind of twisted game are they playing anymore? They're adults, and he has her on her knees below him.

"Siri," her voice is hoarser, rougher, greedier. "How long has it been since we last played our little game?"

He laughs because she can sound so innocent when she wants to. "I wouldn't call this a little game Bella," he instructs her crisply. "We threw out the rules a long time ago, didn't we?"

She giggles a tinkering mad laugh, and briefly it occurs to him that Azkaban has once and truly taken all semblances of sanity she once had. The Bella he knew, the Bella he grew up with...is gone and replaced by the hollow mad shell. But she still looks like Bella, despite the lines around the corners of her eyes or the droop in her breasts, she is still beautiful Bella Black.

"Sirius always likes his ickle games," she grins and her eyes are magnetic, cold black holes drawing him in. Her pink tongue plays and wets her full lips, before flicking over her shiny white canines like she's a feline or predator about to bite it's prey. She's teasing him and he knows it. Making him wait.

Sirius narrows his grey eyes. "Why doesn't Bella," they like to refer to each other in third person, it makes the game easier, "start her part then? Why doesn't Bella do Sirius a favour?"

She laughs gleefully and sinks down further on her knees, eyeing him. "Oh yes, Bella wants to. Bella wants to please Sirius."

"Good."

But then her nails are digging into him and the sound of her mad shrieking pops his eardrums as she draws blood from him.

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_

She is shrieking like a banshee and he can't tell if she is having fun or this is an episode. Like the ones she had in Azkaban where she'd howl and bash against the bars.

 _"Let me out Sirius!"_

.

He awakes to a shriek, and he realizes with a sweat that he's still in his bed in Grimmauld Place and he hasn't seen Bella for more than two years, not since Azkaban.

It isn't much relief. Though he hates her on so many levels it's hard to count, on some levels, he cares and still feels responsible. Because they did used to play little games in Grimmauld Place. A very long time ago.

His hands rake guiltily over his face. And now he has started it again with Tonks.

She has no idea. No idea how much she is like the young Bellatrix he used to know and made love to across the floor in front of his mother's mantelpiece.

And he know's the situation is messed up. In so many ways.

But then things have always been topsy turvy in Grimmauld Place.

.

 _Shit. Why the hell did he go with Tonks? It was Bella all over again._

.

.

Sorry I couldn't continue the love scene further, it was getting sort of sick and I'd like to keep my stories relatively clean. Although if I ever post to another site, I might put an uncensored version of this! Thanks and what do you think should happen? Should Sirius continue with Tonks, or is she too much like Bellatrix? Another troubled Black relative?


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